Ask Kingdom Hearts!
by SunflowerWielder
Summary: Well, after a strange turn of events, the whole of the Kingdom Hearts cast is camping in my living room. After much blackmail,they have agreeded to do a Q and A thing. SEND IN YOUR QUESTIONS! T because I don't know about the questions yet, XD
1. Chapter 1

SW: Hello people! Well, after a strange turn of events, I've got the whole cast of Kingdom Hearts camping in my living room, by all of them, I mean the Disney ones as well. (For those of you who are interested, Axel has already set the room on fire twice.)

Axel: That wasn't my fault!

SW: Yes it was. You had the matches in your hand. Anyway, through the use of blackmail, I have got them to agree to do a question answer thing. So, if there are any questions you want to ask, please do!

Xemnas: Just for extra torture?

SW: Precisely. So, any questions, any at all, ask them. YOU WILL GET AN ANSWER!!

Sora: God help us.

Roxas: WAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPP!!!?!??!?

Axel: WAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSUUUUUUUUPPPPPP!??!?!?!?

Demyx: WAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSUPPPPPPPPPPP?!?!?!?

Saïx: WTF?

Roxas: Dunno.

SW: Send questions quickly, before I am forced to kill one of them.


	2. Kunai and beer

SW: Okay people, we have our first questions. They are from S.S.M.together.

To Demyx:  
1.)How did you get into Org. 13?  
2.) Do you get in a lot of fights with Axel, since you are water and he is fire?

To Xemnas:  
1.) Why did you let Demyx be in Org. 13?  
2.) Do you have any weapons/powers that you did not copy from the Org. members or Star Wars?

To Larxene:  
1.) Why are you the only girl in Org. 13?  
2.) Is there any peculiar reason you have kunai?

Demyx: WEEEEEEEEE!!!! I GET TO ANSWER QUESTIONS!!

1) Well, I was walking along, and then Xiggy-

Xigbar: How many times have I told you not to call me that?

Demyx: About 10,000,000. But anyway, so Xiggy was there, and he was like, 'you're a nobody.' I thought he was being rude, so I punched him. After he regained conciseness, he told me about the organization, so I joined. Also, he said he'd shoot me if I didn't.

Everyone: O.o

Demyx: 2) Not a lot of fights. Only when he BURNS MY SHEET MUSIC!!! LIKE HE'S DOING NOW!!!!

Axel: Uh-Oh…

Demyx: DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

SW: Uh… Thank you Demyx. I think. Xemnas?

Xemnas: 1) At the time… I was drunk.

Zexion: That is true.

Demyx: YOU ONLY LET ME INTO THE ORGANIZATION BECAUSE YOU WERE DRUNK!?!?!?

Xemnas: Something like that. It was New Year's Eve, everyone was drunk. Especially Axel.

Axel: Whatever happened to, 'let's never speak of that again'?

Xemnas: Silence VIII. And stop swearing at me.

2) What? HOW DARE YOU!!!

SW: The people have got a point.

Sora: Yeah, because when I fought you, I was thinking 'Woah! Star Wars rip-off or what?'

Xemnas: Well… Okay, I'll tell you what happened. It was in the early days of the Organization. Back then, no-one had power to match ours…

Sora: If you go on a reminisce, you'll get a giant key shoved up your ass.

Riku: Make that two.

Kairi: Three.

Mickey: Four.

Roxas: Six.

Axel: And a Chakram! That's on fire!!

SW: And a guinea pig! Say hi Harmony!

Vexen: It's a guinea pig!

SW: Your point?

Xemnas: FINE! Well, I was looking for a weapon, and money was short, so I brought them second hand of some guy called 'Darth Vader'.

Everyone: O.o

SW: Uh… Thanks. Larxene?

Vexen: She's about to kill your hamster.

SW: WHAT!!! LARXENE PUT HIM DOWN NOW!!!!

Larxene: Spoil-sport. Okay;

Well, I didn't always use to be the only girl. There was another-

Xemnas: Silence XII. No more is to be said.

Larxene: Grrrr… Anyway, I have no idea. Nomura is sexist I suppose.

SW: Note: Larxene's feelings do not reflect on the writers. Well, they do. Basically, what I am saying is NOMURA DON'T SUE ME!!! I'M SKINT!!!

Larxene: 2) BECAUSE THEY'RE GOOD TO KILL PEOPLE WITH!!! I CAN DECAPITATE A MAN AT TWELVE FEET!!! BWA-HA-HA-HA!!!!

Xemnas: Who gave her alcohol?

Everyone: It was him! (Points to Luxord.)

Luxord: Why is the rum gone?

SW: Send in more questions! Or the rum gets it!

Luxord: NOT THE RUM!!!! Mauls


	3. Zebra coats and Popcorn

SW: We've got more questions people!

Axel: Oh _joy!_

SW: I've got a bucket of water…

Axel: You are evil.

SW: I know. These are from KingdomHeartsPrincess:

Dear Xemnas,No offence...but you're ugly. And how come you have a funny zebra coat? I  
anxiously await your answer.

Xemnas: WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK I'M UGLY!?!?!!?

Everyone: Because you are.

SW: Question. Answer. NOW!

Xemnas: Ugh… Well, I thought that the "Zebra" coat was much more stylish than the ordinary Organization coat.

Zexion: How come we have to wear the ordinary coats?

Xemnas: …

Demyx: He has a point.

Sora: Those coats are hell ugly!

Xaldin: I designed those myself…

Riku: Finally! An explanation!

Xaldin: WHY YOU…!!!

SW: Oh... My… God… RUN RIKU!!!

Dear Larxene: You rock!! Do you like Axel?

Larxene: Well thank you! I always thought I rocked! Hm… Do I like Axel…?

Axel: If she says 'no', it will be followed by an electric shock, won't it?

Roxas: Probably.

Larxene: Not really.

(BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!)

Axel: OWOWOWOWOWOWOW!!!!

Luxord: Is your hair meant to be on fire?

Axel: HOLY CRAP-A-TOA!!!

Xigbar: Is that a word?

SW: HOLY CRAP-A-TOA!!! Of course it isn't!

Dear Axel: How do you feel 'bout people calling you Reno's brother?

Axel: Hang on… Okay, the fire's out now. Wait. Who's Reno?

SW: Watch this. (Gives him Final Fantasy VII Advent Children DVD.)

(Sometime later)

SW: Now do you get it?

Axel: No.

Cloud: Shall I run get him?

SW: Yes please.

(A little bit later…)

Cloud: Back.

Reno: Hello.

Axel: Hi. What his name again?

SW: OH MY GOD!!!! You two! Bond! Now!

Reno & Axel: Or…?

SW: I have Demyx?

Axel: Do'h!

(More later…)

Axel: Meh. It's better than people saying I do Roxas. Or Vexen. That's just creepy. (Shudders)

Dear Kairi: You're my favourite character! Where do you get your haircut? Cuz  
it's ah-dor-ah-ble!!

Kairi: Well thank you! I like your name by the way! There's a little place on Destiny Islands near the school, so if games and reality ever mix together, we can go there together.

Riku: Yuck. Girl talk.

SW: I'm a girl!

Xemnas: You look like a boy.

SW: …

Marluxia: Are you going to murder him?

SW: No. Say something.

Mansex: Okay… WAIT!!!!

Roxas: EXCELLENT!!!Dear Squall...er...Leon: What the heck is up with your hair in KH2?

Leon: …

Demyx: Well?

Leon: YUFFIE DID MY HAIR!!!

Yuffie: LIES!!!! (Attacks Leon)

Xigbar: This is an unusual experience.

Vexen: You mean watching a fight where no-one in the Organization is involved?

Xigbar: Yup.

Leon: THE PAIN!!! THE PAIN!!!

Yuffie: La la la! In a materia world!!

Saïx: Are you sure she doesn't do drugs?

Tifa: We don't know. Nor do we care.

Sephiroth: Nor do we WANT to know.

Tidus: Why are you here?

SW: Dude, he's in Kingdom Hearts… And he's standing next to Cloud…

Cloud: I must fight my inner darkness!! (Attacks)

Sora: Who has a video camera!?

Riku: I do!

Everyone: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!!!

Dear Sora: GET A FASHION CONSULTANT!

Sora: WHA!!!?

Riku: HA HA!!!

Sora: Shut up Riku! (Attacks)

Riku: IT BURNS!!!!!!

Larxene: THUNDER!!!

Sora and Riku: OW!!!!

Demyx: Who has popcorn?

SW: Kitchen.

Demyx: Thank you!

SW: Send in more questions! Because then there are more fights!

Mansex: You're weird. And stop calling me that!

SW: NEVER!!!

Demyx: POPCORN!!!

Everyone who isn't fighting: YAY!! (Eats it)


	4. Gravity defying hair and Crash Bandicoot

SW: WE GOT MORE QUESTIONS!

Mansex: Wow… Humans are cruel. WILL YOU STOP CALLING ME THAT!

SW: Nope. The following questions are from Pyropuddle:

**To All: How do you get your hair to defy gravity like that?**

To Axel:  
1) How old are you?  
2) What's with the firey chakrams?

To Demyx: How do you feel about being called the weakest one in the  
Organization?

To Saix: Where did you get that scar?

Demyx: How can a puddle have pyromaniac tendencies?

SW: Jeez, I don't know, go ask him.

Demyx: Okay.

SW: I WAS BEING SARCASTIC! Anyway, answer the questions.

Everyone: The first question… Is a very good question.

Vexen: Look, if Issac Newton was alive today, his head would implode if he played Kingdom Hearts, or Final Fantasy.

SW: That is so true. Axel?

Axel: 1) I am… Damm, I forgot.

Roxas: You're 18.

Axel: Oh yeah.

Luxord: This, Ladies and Gentlemen, is why Axel says "Got it memorised?" or "Commit it to memory" all the time.

Xigbar: His memory is awful.

Lexaeus: Got it memorised?

Xaldin: Yeah. He once forgot about Roxas.

Roxas: WHAT?

SW: FLAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSHHHHBAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCKKK!

[Flashback time[

(In the Organizations meeting room)

Mansex: Now, what are we to do with the traitor?

Axel: Who?

Mansex: Number XIII.

Axel: We have a number XIII?

Xigbar: Your best friend?

Axel: …

Xaldin: The only one you liked?

Axel: …

Vexen: Made you feel like you had a heart?

Axel: Doesn't ring a bell.

Zexion: ROXAS!

Axel: Oh, him.

Mansex: Yes, him. Now…

Axel: He's a traitor?

Mansex: AAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH!

[End of Flashback[

Roxas: You…forgot about me?

Axel: Well, you forgot about me!

Roxas: I had my memories wiped by a loony in red bandages.

DiZ: That offends me.

SW: Good, because I hate you. Axel, before you and Roxas fight, question 2?

Axel: Oh yeah. The fiery Chakrams are because when I had my heart, I used to poke people with Frisbees. Then I got Frisbees with spikes on to poke people with when I became a nobody. And I control fire, so I can set them on fire and throw them at Diz.

DiZ: WHY IS EVERYONE PICKING ON ME?

SW: Because you're a bastard. You and Roxas can fight now Axel.

Axel: Thank you. BURN BABY!

Roxas: TAKE THIS!

SW: Right. Where's Demyx?

Larxene: Ceiling.

SW: … How did you get up there?

Demyx: Uh… Good question.

SW: Get down here and answer this question.

Demyx: 'Kay. (Reads it) They… they think I'm weak?

SW: Well… You are the first time you fight. The second time you were kicking my ass all over the screen.

Demyx: PYROPUDDLE SHALL PAY!

SW: NO DEMYX! Listen, I'm going to stop Demyx killing Pyropuddle. Sora is in charge while I'm gone. Someone do the disclaimer, and stop Saïx worshiping the moon long enough to answer his question.

Sora: Got it.

Mansex: How come he's in charge?

SW: 1) He loves torturing you lot, so he's bound to make sure you answer the questions. 2) You would just blether on about Kingdom Hearts all the time. 3) He's cuter than you. Sora, if you would.

Sora: Thank you. SAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!

Saïx: I'M BUSY! IT'S A FULL MOON TONIGHT!

Sora: YOU HAVE A QUESTION!

Saïx: BUGGER OFF!

Zexion: Saïx, the vet just called.

Saïx: What?

Zexion: YOU HAVE A FUNGUS!

Everyone: BWA HA HA HA HA HA!

Saïx: I hate you.

Zexion: The feeling is mutual, I assure you.

Saix: Fine. The answer to your question, Pyropuddle, is personal.

Sora: Do tell.

Saix: No.

Riku: Yes.

Saix: No.

Kairi: Yes.

Saïx: No.

Axel: Yes.

Saïx: NO!

Xigbar: Then I'LL tell.

Saïx: NO!

Xigbar: It was back when we were Organization VII. We were all drunk, except Zexion. He was hammered.

Zexion: Shut up.

Xigbar: You threw up. And then you tried to eat the vomit. You were hammered.

Marluxia: Ha ha!

Zexion: I wouldn't be talking Mr Flowa Powa.

Marluxia: IT IS ON!

Everyone: Fight! FIGHT! FIGHT! (Watches the fight until they lose interest)

Xigbar: Anywho, we decided to initiate Saïx. We all had initiation challenges, except Mr Mansex.

Mansex: HOW DARE YOU!

Xigbar: SunflowerWielder ordered us to call you that.

Mansex: Grrrrr…

Larxene: You really shouldn't have pissed her off.

Axel: Where is she anyway?

Naminé: Looking for Demyx.

Axel: Got it memorised?

Xigbar: LET ME FINISH! Anyway, so Saïx's was to draw a massive X on his face. The thing is though, we used permanent marker. He got so annoyed; he tried rubbing it off when he was in Berserk mode. Well… You can guess what happened.

Everyone: …

Saïx: I hate you.

Luxord: LET'S ALL GET HYPER!

Sora: NO! I'm in charge, I decide what we do. First, we need to do a disclaimer.

Riku: (Sighs) I'll do it. Where is it?

Kairi: There.

Riku: Gotcha. SunflowerWielder does not own Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, or Disney. If she did, the Organization would not be dead, Kingdom Hearts II Final Mix would be brought out in Europe, neither would Aeris/Aerith (be dead, that is), and The Little Mermaid would never have been made.

Roxas: Now what do we do?

Sora: Hmm…

Wakka: This should be good.

Sora: LET'S ALL GET DRUNK!

Zexion: That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard.

Riku: LET'S DO IT!

Everyone: HELLZ YEAH!

(Sometime later…)

SW: We're bac—That is the last time I let them know where the alcohol is. While Demyx and I try to sober them up, send in your questions! And, why the hell is Crash Bandicoot in here?

Crash Bandicoot: JGAVOJ!

Demyx: O.o


	5. Drunkness and Make up

SW: WE HAVE QUESTIONS!

Mansex: Not so _louuuuuuuuuuuud_.

SW: You'll have to excuse him. He's hung over.

Xigbar: He could never hold his drink.

Axel: Like St Patrick's Day last year.

Sora: Do you have pictures?

Axel: Yup.

SW: MOVING ON… How much for a picture?

Mansex: Grr…

SW: These are from Drea-chan719:

**To SW:  
How come Naminé isn't in it?  
**

Riku: She is.

Roxas: SHE IS?

Kairi: Yeah. She's just hiding from you.

Roxas: WHAT? But… ARRRGGGGGGHHHHHH! SOMEONE GET THIS BANDICOOT OFF ME!

**  
To Sora:  
Who did your make up when you went to Halloween town?  
Who do you like?**

Sora: 1) …

Jack (the pumpkin king): It was very good make up Sora. Who DID do it?

Sora: …

Roxas (From underneath Crash): It was…

Sora: You finish that sentence, I'm going to kill you. Then, I'm going to kill your family, so that your genes are never passed on, and then, just for the heck of it, I'm going to kill your best friend!

Roxas (Still underneath Crash): Axel, you might…

Axel: I AM NO LONGER YOUR BEST FRIEND! I'VE ALREADY DIED ONCE! THAT'S ENOUGH!

Sora: …

Donald: You'd better tell them.

Sora: NO!

Goofy: Sora did the make up himself, Hyck!

Everyone except Sora, Donald, Goofy and Roxas: O.o

Larxene: So, Kairi, how does it feel to be going out with a cross dresser?

Kairi: Surprisingly normal.

Sora: 2) As you have probably guessed, I like Kairi.

Saïx: Wait, do you mean 'like' as a friend, or 'like' as in fancy?

Demyx: 'Cause if it's the latter, Sora fancies the hell out of Zexion.

Everyone except Demyx: O.O

Zexion: I think I'm going to puke.****

To Axel:  
Why do you have those lil triangles on your cheeks?

Saïx: MWA HA HA HA HA!

Xaldin: Saïx's revenge.

Marluxia: Yeah, because how Axel got those are even more embarrassing than how Saïx got the 'X' scar.

Axel: Please no… Wait. How do you know this?

Larxene: Oh please. It's Organization legend.

Roxas (Yup, he's still underneath Crash): Yeah, I know the whole story off by liver.

Reno: Liver?

Roxas (When is he going to get out from underneath the fricken bandicoot?): Well, we don't have hearts… Could someone PLEASE get this bandicoot off me?

Crash: OIAFJOAIJOJGI!****

Zexion: Axel had discovered Xigbar's stash…

Larxene: And drank it all.

Lexaeus: He decided to get a tattoo.

SW: IT TALKS! (Faints)

Xigbar: LOL!

Lexaeus: .

SW: It's stopped. (Pouts)

Demyx: He asked me what design the tattoo should be. I told him two red triangles, one under each eye.

Axel: And I was so drunk I took his advice.

(Insert Awkward silence here.)

Everyone: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

**To Demyx  
how come you have a mullet?**

Demyx: Don't you think it makes me look fricken shmexy?

Everyone else: NO!

SW: From Glimmerous…

Mansex: You got more than one review for each chapter?

SW: Let me introduce you to someone. This is my Glove of Doom. If you annoy me, you get Gloved. Okay?

DiZ: It has capital letters? (GLOVED!)

DiZ: OW!

**LOL! Say hi to Crash Bandicoot for me!  
**

SW: Hello Crash Bandicoot!

Crash: Er… Blewouwadablaba! (Translation: Hello to you too!)

**  
Mmkay, mah questions of DOOM!**

Demyx: NOOOOOOOOO! DOOM!****

To Marluxia: I don't think you're gay! Aren't you happy?

Marluxia: People think I'm gay?

Roxas: He's so innocent.**  
**

Marluxia: I'm innocent?

Vexen: He's so STUPID!

Marluxia: GAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

Demyx: I need the toilet!

SW: Again?

Demyx: I have a small bladder.

**  
To Saïx: You have pointy teeth. Did you do that on purpose?**

Naminé: He has pointy teeth?

SW: (Gloves Saïx)

Saïx: RAAAAAAWWWWWWW! (Goes Berserker)

Everyone: My god, you're right!****

To Roxas: OH EM GEE, Jesse McCartney is your voice actor! Aren't you honoured?  
: D

Roxas: Yeah, I… Wait. Who's Jesse McCartney?

SW: Here. (Shows him Wikipedia.)

(Sometime later)

Roxas: Better than DiZ's voice actor.

DiZ: THAT OFFENDS ME! (GLOVED!) What did I do this time?

SW: You insist on breathing. I cheered when you died.

Luxord: He really annoys her, doesn't he?

SW: Ya think?

Roxas: Yeah, he seems cool.

Axel: Who, DiZ?

Roxas: NO! KINGDOM HEARTS, I HATE DiZ!

SW: Let's start a club!

Roxas: Cool!

DiZ: Who the hell would want to join an 'I hate DiZ club'?

Mansex: Me.

Xigbar: Me.

Xaldin: Me.

Vexen: Ditto.

Lexaeus: (Nods)

Zexion: Same.

Riku: Yup.

Nearly everyone else: AYE!

DiZ: Now I'm depressed.

SW: If you want to join, mention it in a review!

SW: From SoraLover1994

**Dear Sora:  
1) Why are u so hot!  
2) How do you get your hair soo spiky? Is it natural?**

Sora: 1) Weell, I'm hot because…

Kairi: HANDS OFF $"£$£&! HE'S MINE! (Glomps Sora) (GLOVED!)

SW: Don't threaten my readers! And don't annoy me!

Demyx: CoughTHATTIMEOFFTHEMONTHcough! (GLOVED!)

Xigbar: Are you going to glove everyone here?

SW: Possibly.

Xigbar: (Puts on face protection)

SW: I'll hit you where the sun doesn't shine.

Sora: 2) I use a little bit of gel, but not much. It is really just that spiky.

Riku: I don't use any gel in my hair.

Sora: You couldn't.

Sephiroth: Neither do I.

Sora: WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE!

SW: You know I love Final Fantasy VII.

Naminé: And VIII

Tidus: And X.

Paine: And X-2.

Kadaj: And Final Fantasy VII, Advent Children.

Demyx: She also loves Crash Bandicoot, Pokemon, and something else that I can't remember.

Tifa: LOOK OUT!

Everyone else: Huh?

Cloud: FIGHT MY INNER DARKNESS! (Attacks Sephiroth)

Sephiroth: Well, crap.

(All hell breaks loose)

SW: Well, there we have it. (Dodges Way To Dawn) More of your questions (Avoids Tifa) are answered. I don't own Kingdom Hearts, or anything mentioned in this, 'kay? (Avoids bullets) Please send in your questions… WHAT THE HELL IS COCO BANDICOOT DOING HERE?

Coco: Crash, Cortex is trying to take over the world! Again.

Cortex: (Smashes through a wall with a sledgehammer.) MWA HAHAHAHA! I'M BACK BABY!

Uka Uka: Stupid fool!

SW: Damm straight! My mum is going to kill me when she gets home!

Aku Aku: Let there be peace.

Axel: BURN FREAKY MASKS BURN!


	6. Sleep and Obi Wan Keobi

SW: Hello! And welcome to… OUCH!! Demyx, that's my knee!

Demyx: Sorry.

SW: This is Ask Kingdom Hearts, coming to you from…

Vexen: SunflowerWielder's airing cupboard.

SW: DID YOU WANT TO BE KILLED BY ANGRY, VENGEFUL MASKS!?

Sora: Can't be worse than that dream when I'm being chased by an evil moogle on a rocking horse.

Everyone: … The hell?

SW: Not everyone is in here. Axel wanted to keep burning the masks, Cloud and Sephiroth are still fighting to the death, and we sent DiZ food scavenging.

Roxas: Hee-Hee.

SW: Please join our 'We hate DiZ' club!'

Xigbar: We have cookies!

SW: These are from Shiankumo Bani:

**Xemnas.  
Why don't you get a haircut?  
and for Roxas:  
Why don't you save some keyblades for the rest of us you greedy bastard!  
and for Axel:  
Why chakrams?  
and for Saïx:  
Have you met regal Bryant from tales of symphonia cause you both have long, blue hair and are emo. And you kinda look alike in certain anime screenshots. (Obsessed with tales of symphonia)**

Mansex: HAVE YOU TRIED LOOKING AFTER THESE PEOPLE!! IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO GET ANY FREE TIME!!

Xaldin: I FOUND AN OLD BOTTLE OF VODKA!!

All of Organization XIII: WOO-HOO!!

SW: Point taken. Roxas?

Roxas: MEANIE!!

Sora: Well, you are greedy! I only get one Keyblade, unless I'm driving.

Riku: And I only ever get one.

Kairi: Same.

King Mickey: Ditto.

Roxas: Well, just because I'm more TALENTED than you…

Sora: YEAH!! Well at least I'm not best friends with an insane pyro!!

Roxas: He is not insane, he's just…

(Outside the airing cupboard)

Axel: I JUST SET A FEMALE MARSUPIAL ON FIRE!!

Coco Bandicoot: AAARRRRGGGGHHH!! PUT IT OUT!! PUT IT OUT!!

(Back in the airing cupboard)

Roxas: Point taken. Well, I wouldn't be talking, Mr 'I'm best friends with a bisihe idiot from the darkness!!'

Riku: HEY!! (Attacks Roxas) I'll bisihe YOU!!

SW: Okay, voting time. Who wants to stay in the airing cupboard with Roxas and Riku fighting to the death (again), and who wants to take our chances with the angry, vengeful masks and female marsupial on fire.

Everyone except Roxas and Riku, who are beating the crap out of each other: Second option.

SW: Thought so.

(Everyone climes out of the airing cupboard.)

Demyx: My neck has a crick in it.

Marluxia: Oh stop moaning already.

SW: Axel?

Axel: I thought I answered this question already?

SW: Then re-answer it!

Axel: NO!!

SW: Or else… (Waves wet sponge around)

Axel: I hate you. Well, the fiery Chakrams are because when I had my heart, I used to poke people with Frisbees. Then I got Frisbees with spikes on to poke people with when I became a nobody. And I control fire, so I can set them on fire and throw them at Diz.

DiZ: STOP PICKING ON ME!! (GLOVED!!)

SW: Attack, I hate DiZ club!

Demyx: WITH COOKIES!!

(After the violent and sweet fight.)

Kairi: Well that fight was violent.

Larxene: And sweet.

Xigbar: And sexy.

SW: No, just violent and sweet.

Xigbar: HMPH!! (Sulks)

SW: Saïx? Sa- Where the hell is Saïx?

Sora: Let's go and search! It may take several games; we may use up several gummi ships…

Kairi: Uh, Sora…

Sora: Hi-Potions shall be used a lot, people will swear at impossible bosses…

Riku: SORA!

SW: That reminds me, Xaldin you are hell easy in standard mode.

Xaldin: WHAT?!

SW: Yeah, I beat you in like, one go.

Xaldin: … (Goes into emo corner)

SW: Don't tell him I was way over-levelled.

Everyone except Sora and Xaldin: We won't.

Sora: Anti form will occur in annoying ways…

Everyone: SORA!!

Sora: WHAT!?

Zexion: He's right there. (Points to Saïx asleep on the sofa)

Sora: … I knew that.

Roxas: _Suuuuuurrrrrreeeee_ you did.

Sora: SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!

Vexen: How are we going to wake him up?

Lexaeus: When he sleeps, he sleeps.

SW: Good thing I've got this! (Holds up Euphonium)

Axel: Oh, you're kidding me.

SW: (Evil grin)

Luxord: We pray for your soul.

DiZ: I don't. (GLOVED!!)

SW: (Plays euphonium loudly)

Saïx: AH!! AH!! UH!! AH!! I'MAWAKE, I'MAWAKE!! (Falls off sofa)

Everyone else: BWA HA HA HA HA HA!!

SW: Your question.

Saïx: (reads question)

Axel: This is the first time I have ever heard Saïx be called emo.

Roxas: Yea, normally it's me.

Zexion: Or me.

Riku: Or me.

Cloud: (Pausing from fighting to the death) Or me.

Saïx: Who's Regal Bryant?

SW: …

Saïx: Anyone?

SW: Wikipedia is our friend! (Goes on-line)

Sora: While she's doing that, for your entertainment, who can make a bigger fire? Axel, Uka Uka, or Sephiroth?

Random Choir: SEPHIROTH!!

Everyone: The hell?

Sephiroth: They follow me everywhere… (Whimpers)

Yuffie: Wow… I never thought I'd feel sorry for Sephiroth before.

Random Choir: SEPHIROTH!!

Everyone: SHUT UP!!

SW: 1) If you guys are going to have a fire fight, go down to the park and do it there.

2) 'Tales of Symphonia' is a Nintendo Gamecube game…

Marluxia: BOO NINTENDO!!

SW: You are in a Nintendo game, you retard!

Marluxia: I know, and I still despise it!!

SW: Do we have any tranquiliser? I swear, I told someone to bring tranquilisers.

Riku: You told Goofy.

SW: … Crap.

Goofy: I LIKE TO WALK IN THE RAIN!! (Falls over unconscious)

SW: Damm! Oh, you actually DO look a bit like Regal Bryant.

Saïx: I do?

SW: Yeah, look!

Everyone: Oh, yea!

Vexen: It must be your long lost cousin!

Luxord: I thought that was sailor moon?

SW: Touché.

Saïx: RAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWRRRRR!! (Goes berserker)

Everyone: HOLY MAMA!!

SW: Damm you Goofy! Damm you and your love of Tranquilisers, with their chemical bitter taste!!

DiZ: You can't taste Tranquilisers. (SUPER GLOVED!!) STOP THAT!!

SW: The Glove of Doom is eternal!! It does not die!!

Aerith: You have lost it, haven't you?

SW: I lost it years ago. Get with the times. Next questions!

Xigbar: I know that it was Easter yesterday, so I feel justified in asking how much bloody chocolate did you eat?

SW: A lot. Um… half an egg, three chocolate bars, a kinder bunny and a Kinder Surprise Egg.

Xigbar: All in the past 24 hours?

SW: Yup! These questions are from Glimmerous again! Hi!

**To SW: I HEART your Glove of Doom! Can I have one?**

To Crash: Where's CoCo? Get her in here, cuz she's my fave character!

To Aerith: I love your dress in KH2! Lose the boots, though! They don't  
match!

To Cloud: LOL, you're still emo!

SW: Gloves always come in pairs…

Naminé: You totally ripped that line off from Torchwood.

Roxas: You watch Torchwood? (Mentally disturbed)

SW: So, because you have reviewed before, yes, you may have the Glove of Doom's sister! (Gives Glimmerous Glove of Doom's sister) With great power comes great responsibility…

Obi wan Kenobi: Stop stealing lines from my film!

Everyone: O.O

Larxene: Why is he even here?

SW: I don't know! I don't even like Star Wars!

Mysterious voice: But I do.

Everyone: The hell?

SW: Ladies and Gentlemen, for her first ever appearance on FanFiction, give a woo-hoo of welcome for my first OC, Alexia!

Mansex: None of your stories HAVE an OC in them.

SW: Organization Chaos will.

Riku: You have Chapter 3 up on here, what chapter does Alexia come in?

SW: (Unknown mumbling)

Riku: Pardon?

Alexia: Chapter 11.

Everyone: THE HELL?!

SW: I'M GOING TO PUT THE REST OF THE CHAPTERS UP SOON!!

Xigbar: You're the stupidest person I have ever met in my life. (GLOVED!!)

SW: SUFFER!! Anyway, where is Coco?

Crunch: Foo! She's trying put the fire out! Stay in school!

Everyone: O.O

SW: Demyx, could you put the fire out?

Demyx: WATER!! (Floods the entire room)

Crunch: Ya foo!

SW: Stop talking like that!!

Larxene: Uh-oh… (starts crackling)

Xaldin: (pulls self out of emo corner) Evacuate house!!

(Everyone runs away screaming)

DiZ: This is going well. (GLOVED!!)

SW: SHUT UP YOU ANNOYING IDIOT!!

Coco: The fire is out. At last.

Axel: BURN MARSUPIAL BURN!!

SW: DEMYX!!

Demyx: WATER!! (Chucks water over Axel.)

(FZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!)

Roxas: All the electrics in the house have blown!

Leon: This is so stupid. (GLOVED!!)

Zexion: I need _sleeeeeeppp_. (Falls asleep on Sora's lap)

Sora: O.O

Lexaeus: He gets tired easily.

Sora: WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO!?

Coco: Give him a pillow?

Sora: Grr…

SW: This is getting hectic…

Luxord: When wasn't it hectic?

SW: That is a good point. But anywhoo, Aerith?

Aerith: I love this dress too! But I have no idea why Nomura chose Hiking Boots to go with them…

Naminé: Men have no dress sense.

Kairi: How true.

Cloud: I am not emo.

SW: (For some strange reason, sitting in a directors chair) Yea, do that again darling, but a bit more emotion, 'kay?

Cloud: I AM NO ££''#£&£"£ EMO!!

SW: Mwa! Beautiful, I believed you, honestly, I did!

Sephiroth: HA!

Cloud: SHUT UP!! (Attacks)

SW: By the way, thanks Drea-chan719 for also reviewing! However, Sora refuses to give make up tips, no matter how much I blackmail him.

Marluxia: Well, now what are we going to do?

SW: Let's make up nicknames for everyone!

Mansex: I already have one. And I hate it with my non-existence.

Axel: 'kay, what should we call Xiggy?

Demyx: Xiggy?

Roxas: We are not calling Xiggy Xiggy!

Naminé: My head hurts.

SW: You're not the only one… My faithful readers! If you have any ideas for nick-names for anyone, please send them in!

Riku: Send one in for SW too!

Alexia: And me!

Aqua: We know nothing about you.

Xaldin: When did you get here?

Aqua: Dunno, Ven was bored; he wanted to stalk Yuffie, for some random reason.

Ven: LIES!!

Tidus: Let's call Alexia 'enigma', until SW gets her ass in gear, and puts up the rest of the chapters! (Gloved!!)

Enigma/Alexia: That sounds cool!

Riku: Disclaimer!

SW: Jeez, let's make this simple. I don't own ANTHING HERE, commit it to memory.

Zexion: (still asleep) Riku just kicked me…

SW: RIKU!!

Riku: What?!

SW: Don't kick people when they are sleeping. It's rude.

Obi Wan Kenobi: Why am I still here?


	7. Dates and House MD

SW: WE GOTTA MORE QUESTIONS!!

Demyx: FWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

Zexion: (Still asleep) Zzzzzzz.

Sora: What's happened to Demyx?

SW: He ate some of my Easter Egg…

Riku: Yuh-oh.

SW: He's sweet when he's sugar high. Anywoo, these are from tootsiepopgurl:

**Leon: omgomgomgomg...I LOVE YOU! How about you ditch Rinoa and date me??  
Sora: I have to hug you...Glomps  
Sephiroth: How do you feel about Light Yagami's (from Death Note) success in the god complex business? Everyone is siding with Kira every single day...And you have less supporters...how do you feel about that?  
Marluxia: I have spoken to Teru Mikami(also from Death Note) recently...and he has declined that he is not related to you...but you both look alike. Do you think you two look like? Oh...and he also called you a flower-.**

Leon: O.O

Everyone else: OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH!!

Yuffie: Rinoa gonna be _soooooo_ annoyed.

Leon: She'll slap me!

Cloud: Now THAT would be entertaining.

Sephiroth: For once I agree.

Aerith: Cloud and Sephiroth—

Random Choir: SEPHIROTH!!

Aerith: (Glares at choir) are in agreement?

SW: The world has come to an end.

Sora: Since you're in a different universe, there's no reason why you couldn't go out with her.

Leon: …

Roxas: He's on the spot, peoples!

Leon: …

Axel: What's he gonna do?

Leon: …

Cid: Will he get slapped?

Leon: …

SW: WILL YOU STOP WITH THE …'S ALREADY!!

Leon: Ur…

Xigbar: Jeez, that's so much better.

Leon: Well…

Seifer: You can hear the clogs moving.

Leon: Okay.

Kairi: Ah, love blossoming in front of us.

SW: Kairi, I like you, but if you ever say anything like that again, I will glove you. O.K?

Kairi: Fair enough.

SW: Good. Sora?

Sora: (Being crushed from the glomp) Can't breathe… that well.

Zexion: (Woken up from the glomp) Why is there a random person hugging Sora?

Larxene: She's not hugging him, she's GLOMPING him. There is a difference.

Sora: Oxygen running out.

Tidus: Good for you!

SW: Did you even listen to the conversation?

Tidus: No.

Crunch: Ya foo! Stay in milk!

Coco: Crunch, shut up before I slap you.

DiZ: You haven't gloved anyone so far.

SW: Until now! (Gloves DiZ)

Larxene: What was it that made you think I'm sadistic?

SW: Meh.

Sephiroth: I am very distressed. VERY DISTRESSED. My mother did not give herself up for this. I WILL KILL EVERYONE IN DEATH NOTE!!

Random Choir: SEPHIROTH!!

Sephiroth: RIGHT AFTER I KILL THE CHOIR!! (Pulls out sword) (Breaks window) Oops. (GLOVED!!)

SW: IS THIS A PLACE TO SMASH IN WINDOWS?? NO!! I DON'T THINK SO!!

Barret: You do realise, we spent months trying to defeat Sephiroth—

Random Choir: SEPHIROTH!!

Barret: (Punches leader of the choir) and she just made him curl up in a corner with one hit of a glove?

SW: THE GLOVE IS ETERNAL!! (The sound of stitching being pulled apart) What was that?

Roxas: I think I broke the glove…

Everyone: (Silence)

Xaldin: You.

Axel: Are.

Sora: Dead.

SW: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!! (Starts strangling Roxas)

Roxas: GAK! GAK! CHOKING!!

SW: DOUBLE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!

Naminé: Zexion, you were a scientist, is the fact Roxas has gone purple a bad sign?

Zexion: How purple?

Naminé: Blueberry.

Zexion: …No

Sora: Yeah, it is.

Zexion: SHUT UP! I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!!

SW: Uh, guys? I think I killed Roxas.

Everyone: …

Axel: Well, _crap_!

Crunch: Ya foo!

SW: Does anyone know any CPR?

Olette: I do!

Pence: Trust her!

Hayner: SHUT UP!!

Roxas: Wha--? AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!! WHY THE &£!"!"£!&"£ IS OLETTE KISSING ME!!

Xigbar: Congratulations on mentally scarring the only innocent-ish member of our Organization.

Roxas:**_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!_**

Naminé: Breathe Roxas, breathe!

SW: Hang on. The glove is just a little worn… It's okay!

Luxord: Roxas just fainted again.

Aladdin: This is going well.

SW: Sarcasm doesn't suit you.

Marluxia: He DOES look a little like me…

Sora: More long lost relations are being found!

Yuffie: We could have a family reunion!

Marluxia: He called me a flower?! Aww, thanks!

Everyone: O.O

Larxene: Cough MENTALISSUES cough.

SW: These are from SoraLover1994:

**I'm back!  
First off, Go to hell, Kairi! He's MINE, !  
Second of all I have a question for Sora and Riku.**

1. Riku, how would you feel if you never gave into the darkness?  
2. Sora, how would you feel if you and Riku switched places in Kingdom Hearts  
2? These are the questions that haunt me.

PS. Can I join the I hate DiZ club? He sucks and he changed Riku!  
Love you, Sora! See ya!

Kairi: NO!! HE'S MINE!! (Grabs Sora)

Sora: Urk… Kairi, get off me!

Kairi: NO!! YOU'RE MINEY MINE MINE!!

Selphie: As you can see, Kairi is possessive.

Tidus: Very possessive.

Wakka: Ya, once I borrowed her shoes, ya, and she totally freaked!

Yuna: Why did you borrow her shoes?

Tidus: YUNA!! (Glomps)

Riku: If I had never ever given into the darkness, Kingdom Hearts (The Game series) would never have been created.

Sora: (still being crushed by Kairi) I would be mentally scared for life, making myself look so UGLY!!

Xehanort: Grrrrrrr… I am not ugly!

Sora: Look in the mirror.

Demyx: BURNT!!

Axel: WHERE?! (Sets Xehanort on fire)

Xehanort: _AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!_

SW: All in favour of enrolling SoraLover1994 in the 'I hate DiZ' club?

All members of the 'I hate DiZ' club: Aye!

SW: All against?

DiZ and Kairi: Neigh.

SW: You're not members, shut up. SoraLover1994 is now an official member of the 'I hate DiZ' club! (Hands SoraLover1994 cookie)

**I will join the 'we hate DIZ club'!! That is if you would allow me to.  
Anyways questions:  
Sora: how come your so childish? And do you keep a teddy?  
Riku: if Sora has Kairi and Roxas has Naminé who do you have?  
Axel: you have pointy hair mind if I touch it?  
Mansex: your ugly  
Marluxia: why do you have a weird name?  
Roxas: are you unlucky? Being number thirteen and all  
Demyx: why a sitar  
DIZ: -smacks head with a random pole- I hate you  
Saïx: if you have fangs are you a dog? Can I keep you?  
Naminé: can you draw all of the characters in kingdom Hearts including  
Disney  
SW: how big is your living room seeing that you could fit all of kh2 there  
Cloud: if you had a dog and he has long silver hair would you name it  
Sephiroth  
Sephiroth: do you like ice-cream  
Woops too many questions sorry and if you decide to feature my questions call me kenosu ja ne**

SW: I like lots of questions!

Everyone else: We don't.

SW: Did I ask you?

Saïx: Well…

SW: SILENCE!!

Sora: Am I childish?

Riku: (Kidnaps Sora's teddy bear)

Sora: NOOOOOOOO!! MR FLUFFY WUFFY!! (Bursts into tears)

Kairi: I think that answers both of your questions.

Riku: (Hiding Mr Fluffy Wuffy behind his back) Well…

Tidus: He's all alone in the world!!

Riku: (Puts Mr Fluffy Wuffy on top of the china cabinet) Shut up Tidus! Just because you fancy Selphie!

(Awkward silence)

Rikku: Yuh-oh

Paine: Busted…

Yuna: WHAT DOES HE MEAN, YOU FANCY SELPHIE!?

Tidus: Well…

Yuna: HAVE YOU BEEN CHEATING ON ME!?

Tidus: Ur…

Yuna: **_AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!_** (Starts shooting Tidus)

Tidus: HELP ME!! HELP ME!! DEAR SWEET YEVON, HELP ME!!

Axel: I know my hair is pointy. No, you can't touch it.

SW: Let him touch the hair.

Axel: But…

SW: Let him… (Glares)

Axel: Ugh, fine! (Lets the hair be touched)

Mansex: I AM NOT UGLY!!

Everyone else: Yes, you are.

Terra: You do realise, Xehanort just called himself ugly.

Everyone: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! LOSER!!

Marluxia: Is my name weird?

Larxene: Matter of opinion.

Goofy: I FEEL PRETTY! OH SO PRETTY! I FEEL PRETTY AND WITTY AND GAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!

Everyone: O.O

Donald: Show's over folks, nothing to see here.

Sora: Yes there is.

Donald: Sora, Shh! You know about Goofy's… _issues!_

Sora: Oh, yeah, those issues.

Roxas: I'm not unlucky, am I? (Apollo thirteen falls on his head)

Riku: That just proves that you are.

Kairi: I swear Apollo thirteen is in a museum.

Sora: I am so glad Roxas carries all my bad luck around.

Roxas: (Under Space craft) Glad to help…

Demyx: A sitar is because… I LIKE MY SITAR!! I PLAY MY SITAR!! SITAR!! WHEREVER I GO!! O-OHH!! I LIKE MY— (Banged over the head with a keyblade)

Ven: SHUT UP!! I HAVE A HEADACHE!!

DiZ: (Rubs head) Ouch! Why does everyone hate me!?

SW: 'Cause we do. All in favour of enrolling Kenosu ja ne in the 'I hate DiZ club'?

All members of the 'I hate DiZ club': Aye!

SW: And welcome! (Gives welcome cookie to Kenosu ja ne)

Saïx: My teeth. Are not. Pointy.

Kairi: Yes they are.

Saïx: NOT NOT NOT POINTY!!

SW: All in favour of selling Saïx?

Everyone: Aye!

Saïx: I!! SHALL!! KILL!! YOU!! ALL!!

Xigbar: Aw, look at the little fangs.

Luxord: I've got a collar!

Larxene: AWSOME!!

Saïx: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!

Wakka: Ya, I think Tidus is dead, ya.

SW: Yuna, I don't need to deal with the police today.

Yuna: Sorry.

Rikku: Let's go dump the body in the New Yevon headquaters!

Yuna: YAY!!

Paine: Yay.

Cloud: You go do that. Idiots.

Aerith: You dumped my body in a lake!

Cloud: Very affectionately, I may add.

Aerith: I was freezing!

Cloud: Well…

Aerith: And then I get stuck in a field of flowers!

Yuffie: You like flowers!

Aerith: I did, until I got hay fever.

House: I sympathise.

Everyone: O.O

Sora: At the risk of being out of character, what the £:;(££ is Gregory House doing in your living room?

SW: …

Enigma: You don't have a clue, do you?

SW: Not one!

DiZ: You are just determined to make this place as insane as possible.

SW: It is my goal in life. Naminé?

Naminé: I'm not sure.

Kairi: Why don't you try?

Naminé: Okay! (Pulls out sketch pad)

SW: My living room… Well…

Xaldin: Oxygen is running out.

Aerith: I'm sitting on Sephiroth's knee.

Random Choir: SEPHIROTH!!

Enigma: If we ignore them, they might go away…

Axel: You think that's bad? I'm on Demyx's head.

Demyx: You are very warm.

Axel: I'm a fire element, what do you expect?

SW: Yeah, that pretty much sums it all up.

Cloud: Would I call a dog after my mortal enemy?

Leon: I would!

Roxas: (still under the satellite) You'd call a dog after Seifer?

Leon: Don't you think it sums him up?

Seifer: Why you…!

SW: FIGHT TO THE DEATH!! OR LOSS OF ALL HP!!

(After the fight to loss of all HP)

Leon: I win!

Xigbar: Cue the victory music!

(Plays music)

Riona: That's enough of that!!

Everyone: Yuh-oh!

Riona: YOU ARE CHEATING ON ME!! (Slaps Leon) How could you Squall?

Leon: I am not Squall. I am Squall's identical brother, Leon.

Riona: I see. (Leaves)

Leon: Thick as a plank.

Seifer: She's sweet.

Leon: Doesn't stop her being thick.

Sephiroth: What is this 'ice-cream' you speak of?

Random Choir: SEPHIROTH!!

Cloud: Here. (Hands Ice cream) (Smirks)

SW: Why are you smirking?

Cloud: (Snorts)

SW: … Oh crap.

Sora: What?

SW: Well…

Sephiroth: SUGAAAAAAAARRRRRR!!

Everyone: OH _CRAP!!_

Demyx: Run run away!

(After the mad dash…)

Vexen: We're back in the bloody airing cupboard.

Enigma: Jeez, we hadn't noticed!

Tifa: Why didn't you tell us Sephiroth-?

Random Choir: SEPHIROTH!!

Tifa: (Kicks leader of the choir in a sensitive area) Gets hyper?

Cloud: Comic entertainment?

SW: Now you're talking MY language!!

Axel: You are a bad influence.

SW: YAY!! These are from Shiankumo Bani. Hi!!

Hayner: Which one is he?

SW: The one who thinks Saïx is emo. Anyway:

**To Sora  
Your an idiot. Did you ever meet Lloyd Irving and catch his stupid?  
To all of the emos  
GET THERAPY!  
To Saïx  
WHERE DID YOU MEET REGAL?! IF YOU SEE HIM AGAIN TELL HIM THAT THIS IS FROM ME:  
(slaps)**

Sora: I'm a… wait… what? (Faints)

Kairi: OMG!! SORA!!

Riku: You know, you could help, instead of standing there going 'OMG!! SORA!!'

Kairi: Well, what do you expect me to do?

Sora: (wakes up) I'M AWAKE, I'M AWAKE!! (Falls over air)

Axel: Yes, Sora is stupid.

Sora: Hate you. Who's Lloyd Irving?

SW: Wikipedia rocks!! (Checks it) Yeah, it does look he's an idiot. But I'm guessing Sora hasn't met him.

All of the emos: We do not need therapy.

Everyone else: You do.

Emos: Don't.

Non emos: Do.

Luxord: Is anyone else surprised that, being a Disney game, Kingdom Hearts has so many emo characters in it?

Sora: Everyone who works at Disney is emo.

House: Really?

Kairi: Well, you really think that they're full of brightly animated people singing?

Foreman: Good point.

Enigma: Look, why are they here?

SW: Because I think House is one of the greatest shows on T.V.

Larxene: You are so retarded.

SW: As long as I can outsmart Sora, I'm happy.

Naminé: (Pausing from drawing everyone) Your hamster could outsmart Sora.

Sora: No it couldn't!

SW: Sora, I have a bag of sweets. If you break the laws of thermodynamics, you can have it.

Sora: YAY!!

Vexen: But you can't break the laws of— (Gets mouth covered with a glove)

SW: He doesn't know that.

Axel: I think-

Demyx: No, you don't.

Axel: Shaddup.

Saïx: Anime thingy. Why the hell am I wearing this collar?

Larxene: Because you look like a dog.

Naminé: It's got Diamantine writing on it. Very glamorous.

Saïx: I don't want to look glamorous!

Kairi: Well, tough!

SW: Um, seeing Saïx wearing a dog collar is surprisingly disturbing. These are from Windracer Leopard:

**SW: You say you are blackmailing the cast? With what, exactly?  
Riku: Is that your natural hair colour? If no, how much dye do you use?  
Kairi: Why are your skirts/dresses always so fricking short? I mean. I love your outfits, but your dress looks like it was made for a migit! Wear longer clothes, damnit!  
Mansex: Why the zebra coat? My eyes hurt for days...  
Orginization peoples: You are all so easy. I beat on the first go every  
single time.**

SW: Well, it to do with how they got stuck here, which involved a car, sheet music, Axel, and peanut butter.

Axel: I was totally innocent in that.

Selphie: No you weren't! It was you who-!

(Loud, pretty much incomprehensible arguing)

Yuna: We're back! Tidus wasn't dead after all, just unconscious.

Tidus: I wasn't cheating!

Yuna: LIAR!! (Slaps him)

SW: Okay, people, can we stop arguing now? STOP ARGUING OR I WILL GLOVE YOU ALL!!

(Arguing stops)

SW: Thank you.

Riku: Yeah, this is my natural hair colour.

Sora: His parents are old!

Riku: YOUR MOM IS OLD!!

Sora: YOUR GRANDMOTHER IS OLD!!

Riku: I KNOW, SHE'S MY GRANDMOTHER, DAMMIT!!

Mansex: (Is now used to the nick name) We were defeated by two teenage boys, who argue by yelling 'Your mom', and 'You mom's mom'?

Xigbar: I try not to think about it.

Kairi: EVERYONE IN THIS GAME IS A PERVERT!!

Naminé: HEY!

Kairi: Except Naminé.

Naminé: Thank you.

Sora: We are not perverts!

Kairi: You put your hand on my chest!

Sora: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!!

Riku: Wow, the Keyblade master is a screwed up as the rest of us.

Sora: IT WAS A-

Kairi: PERVERTED ACTION!!

(Sora and Kairi start arguing)

Ven: I have a headache!

SW: I have a sore throat, you don't hear me complaining.

House: Why am I here?

SW: I have no idea.

House: Then why don't I leave.

SW: No clinic duty?

House: Good point.

Mansex: I thought the Zebra coat was more stylish.

SW: I feel I have to tell you something.

Mansex: What?

SW: Well, I am a devoted animal rights campaigner, so, for wearing a coat made out of Zebra skin, I'm going to have to punch you.

Mansex: Okay. (Thinking: _She's a girl, it can't hurt that much._)

SW: HIIII-YAAAA!! (Punches and kicks him)

Mansex: _Owwwwwwwwwwwww…_

Xaldin: Mansex, beaten up by a kid. THAT was entertaining.

Cloud: Me sleepy.

SW: There's only one more question.

Organization: We are not weak.

Roxas: Except Mansex.

Mansex: Take that back!

SW: Okay, the Organization members I think are weak are, Axel, Demyx (First battle), Xigbar, Luxord, Saïx and Mansex. Demyx second battle was kicking my ass all over the screen; Xaldin is easy if you level up a lot. That is my conclusion. And in addition: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

DiZ: What is she doing now?

Demyx: She ordered Kingdom Hearts II Final Mix+ today, so she's really happy.

Axel: And hyper.

Cloud: _Sleeeeeppppppyyyyyy._ (Falls asleep on the hot water boiler thingy)

Tifa: Sleeping on that will make his hair catch on fire.

Aerith: Are you going to tell him that?

Tifa: No.

SW: DISCLAIMER!!

House: She owns nothing.

SW: SEND IN QUESTIONS!!

Sephiroth: _**SUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAARRRRRR!!**_ (Smashes through the door)

Everyone else: _**AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!**_


	8. Sugar Lows and Final Mix

SW: Whoa

SW: Whoa! I have more reviews than I know what to do with… Did that make any sense?

Sephiroth: Zzzzzzzzzz…

Random Choir: SEPHIROTH!!

Reno: O.O

Demyx: Sugar low.

SW: From SoraLover1994:

**Damn. At least I would've done something to help Sora! Unlike some people...  
Some friend you are. Glares at Kairi  
Now for my comments/questions  
And I will be TRY to nice to Kairi this ONE time as part of my enrollment  
into the I Hate DiZ club.**

Hey Sora, if you could pick someone other than that I will not mention  
"coughKairicough" to date, who would it be and why?  
Diz:  
Xemnas, you're orange eyes are creepy...  
Roxas, you're the second hottest character EVER! (Sorry, you would be first, but I love Sora)  
Kairi... This'll probably kill me to say but, I'd really HATE to admit it,  
but I loved your outfit in Kingdom Hearts 1! Passes out out of anger

Kairi: (Glares back)

Naminé: Stop glaring… Oh! I can draw everyone!

Sora: Uh…

Leon: Kairi's gonna slap you.

Sora: Mep. Uh… Uh… Damm…

Riku: This could take a while.

Sora: Hey, if I said Riku as a joke would Riku kill me?

Riku: (Knocks Sora out with Way to Dawn)

SW: RIKU!! HE NEEDED TO ANSWER THE QUESTION!!

Sora: I'm awake! Uh, um, Dear Kingdom Hearts help me, it would be…

SW: DRUMROLL!!

Axel: We don't have a drum.

SW: Then improvise.

Axel: DEMYX!! I NEED TO BORROW YOUR HEAD!! (Bangs on Demyx's head)

Sora: Uh… Naminé, and… Roxas is going to kill me.

Everyone: (Gapes)

Larxene: Oh. My. GOD!

Kairi: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! (Starts murdering Sora)

Roxas: (Helps Kairi kill Sora)

Xemnas: There are a lot of violent girlfriends here.

Tidus: Yeah, Yuna nearly killed me last chapter!

Yuna: I'LL MAKE A BETTER JOB OF IT THIS TIME!! (Attacks Tidus)

DiZ: (Remains silent)

Mansex: My eyes are not creepy.

Everyone else: They are.

Mansex: Not.

Everyone else: ARE!!

Mansex: NOT!!

Everyone else: ARE ARE ARE ARE ARE ARE!!

Demyx: WE WIN!!

Roxas: YAY! I'M HOT!!

Demyx: No, I am smexier than you are!

Roxas: Not.

Demyx: Are.

Roxas: I'm the one with a girlfriend!

Demyx: WAAAAAH!! (Starts crying)

SW: Oh, Roxas, you made Demyx cry!

Roxas: Well he hasn't got a girlfriend!

Demyx: DANCE WATER DANCE!!

Roxas: Oh sh- (Tidal wave collapses on him)

Vexen: This is breaking every single law of science ever.

SW: Yes, I know.

House: You love it don't you?

SW: Yup!

Kairi: HAH!! SHE'S DEAD!! (Gloved)

SW: Stop gloating at my reviewers.

Kairi: But-

SW: Stop it! (Waves glove) These are from NegativeCloud:

**Hi, can I join the "I Hate DiZ" Club? What kind of freak wears bandages  
everywhere? Also, some questions.**

Aerith: What's it like being dead in the Final Fantasy Universe but  
completely alive in the Kingdom Hearts Universe?

Axel: Do you do... inappropriate things with Roxas?

Roxas: 1. What are your... feelings for Axel? If you had a heart, that is.  
2. Would you rather go out with Olette or Naminé  
3. Why are you so depressing?

Naminé: How did you learn to draw so well?

Xigbar: How old are you?

All Emos: What happened that made you become emo?

Lexaeus: Are you even capable of speech?

Demyx: How did you learn to play the sitar?

Saïx: Since when did "moon" become an element?

DiZ: Get a life...

SW: All in favour of enrolling NegativeCloud in the 'I hate DiZ club'?

All members of the 'I hate DiZ club': Aye.

SW: And welcome! (Hands NegativeCloud welcome cookie)

Aerith: It is… odd, to say the least.

Tifa: What, being dead and alive?

Aerith: Yes. I mean, every morning when I wake up, I have to check whether I'm supposed to be dead or alive today! And then, if I am supposed to be dead, I have to turn myself into green gasy stuff!

Axel: O.O O.o o.O (Faints)

Roxas: O.O O.o o.O (Faints)

SW: That's four unconscious people in four pages.

Demyx: I have a strange feeling that you're proud of that.

SW: Who wouldn't be?

DiZ: A sane person? (GLOVED!!)

SW: YOU ALWAYS SPOIL MY FUN!!

Olette: Roxas is awake again!

Roxas: I have got to stop fainting.

Sora: Well then stop being shocked by things!

Roxas: Shut up! 'Kay, I'd rather go out with Naminé, and I am not depressing.

Riku: Yes you are.

Roxas: FINE!! I have guilt issues, happy?

Riku: Those aren't your only issues.

Roxas: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!! (Lunges at Riku)

Naminé: Well, I was bored in Castle Oblivion waiting for Sora, and all that was there was paper and pencils, so I started drawing and I just became good at it. It's fun!

Axel: I'mawake… me thinks me gonna puke… (Throws up over the floor)

Sora: Oh God, that is GROSS!!

Xigbar: MY AGE IS MY BUSINESS!!

Marluxia: He's 51.

Xigbar: AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!

Sora: If he's 51 how old is Mansex?

Marluxia: 67

Everyone: O.O

Demyx: …Need a walking stick pops?

Mansex: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!! (Summons his Aerial Blades)

Demyx: DANCE WATER DANCE!! (Kicks The old mans arse)

The Old Man: Urgh… YOU CHANGED MY NAME?!

SW: It's more imaginative than Mansex.

Demyx: She has a point.

Zexion: Axel, did you just set me on fire?

Axel: Maybe.

Naminé: I think he's better.

The Emos: Our lives are full of pain and misery-

SW: NOT IN THE MOOD!! (Gloves all emos and DiZ)

DiZ: WHAT THE F(Lalala) DID I DO!?

SW: Breathe.

Lexaeus: No.

Luxord: But you just-

Lexaeus: (Knocks Luxord out with tomahawk)

Demyx: My grandmother showed me when I still had my heart. (Starts playing sitar)

Axel: Stop playing that!

Demyx: (Plays sitar louder) I'm sorry, can't hear you! It's too loud!

Saïx: The moon became an element… When I said so!

Zexion: (Still on fire) What a retarded answer. Demyx, I need to borrow you for a moment!

Sora: The moon became an element since Sailor Moon!

Saïx: STOP COMPAIRING ME TO THAT ANIMATED IDIOT!!

Sora: NO!!

Saix: (Pulls out claymore)

Sora: (Pulls out Ultima Weapon)

(Both of them jump behind the sofa to fight to the death)

SW: NO, DON'T--!!

(Both of them smash into the wall)

SW: IDIOTS!!

Saïx: Mommy? Daddy? (Faints)

Marluxia: AAAAAAAAHHHH!! SUNFLOWER AND SORA ARE SAÏX'S PARENTS!!

Everyone except Sora and SW: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

(Run around like idiots)

SW: …Dear god.

Sora: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

SW: Why are you running around?

Sora: I have no idea what so ever.

SW: At risk of being out of character, F(lalalala)ing hate you Sora.

Sora: (Gasps) You said a bad word!

SW: (Bangs head on keyboard) I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!! (Gloves everyone)

DiZ: Why did you glove me twice?

SW: Because I hate you.

DiZ: I do have a life.

Xigbar: Sitting around, eating Ice-cream and hating nobodies doesn't count as a life.

DiZ: Damm.

SW: These are from Windracer leopard:

**SW: Elaborate! I want stories!  
Sora: Normally, I worship the ground you walk on. But after that 'your  
grandmother' comment, I have to say you're as stupid as everyone thinks. And how dare you put your hand on Kairi's chest! (Slaps)  
Kairi: Wear longer clothes then.  
Mansex: You're an idiot. And a campaigner of animal cruelty! (Punches)  
SW: The first time I did Demyx (second battle) he kicked my . But now I can beat him on the first go, and have done 5 times.  
Cloud: How long is your sword? (to the nearest millimetre)  
Sephiroth: Same question  
SW: Where did you order KHII Final Mix?! I want it!  
Can I join the 'I hate DiZ club'?**

SW: All in favour of letting Windracer Leopard join the 'I hate DiZ club'?

All members of the 'I hate DiZ' club: Aye!

SW: And welcome! (Gives Windracer leopard welcome cookie)

DiZ: Now I'm depressed.

SW: Hmm… Well-

Xigbar: Tell the story, and I shoot you.

SW: Don't let me tell the story, and I'll glove you!

Xigbar: Damm.

SW: Well, they were on their way back from an anime conference thing, and they were driving back. Axel dared Demyx to eat a whole jar of peanut butter. However, peanut butter makes Demyx go more hyper than two bottles of Dr Pepper. So, he got totally hyper, and threw his sheet music around the car with gay abandon and _je ne sais quoi_. This caused Saïx (who was driving) to have his face covered with a sheet of peanut butter covered music, and get hit in the head with a keyblade (it seems that was Kairi's fault), therefore, he was knocked out and crashed the car into the tree outside my house's drive. I think that is the funniest thing I have ever seen in my life, XD

Everyone else: We hate you.

Sora: I am not stupid! And the thing with Kairi was an accident!

Kairi: Yeah right!

The Old One: Actually, that was an accident.

Cloud: But a hilarious one.

The Old One: How true.

Donald: Yeah, what happened was, when the car crashed, Sora shoved his arms out, like this: (Demonstrates) And grabbed Kairi's… yeah.

Kairi: I still say it was perverted.

Sora: Well, it was a perverted accident!

SW: Is that SoraLover1994 coming around the corner?

Kairi: EKK!! (Grabs Sora)

Sora: Thanks… I think.

Kairi: I like my clothes! And Nomura won't let me change them…

(Long silence)

Larxene: Oh my god… Is Nomura a perv?

Everyone: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! PERVERT!!

(Everyone runs around like lunatics for the next two hours)

Vexen: How the hell did we end up in the airing cupboard?

Roxas: I think you should just resign to the insanity.

Axel: I just set Crash Bandicoot on fire again.

SW: Oh, I forgot he was here.

The Old One: OW!! (Doubles up) The pain… Help me…

SW: Lucky thing! Beating Demyx in one go is something I can only dream of.

Cloud: My sword is… I don't know?

Riku: Measuring tape, stat! (Pulls out a random measuring tape)

Cloud: (Reads out measurement) 2 meters, 7 centimetres, and 2 millimetres.

Sephiroth: Gimme that! (Snatches measuring tape, and measures sword) 4 meters, 9 centimetres and 4 millimetres.

Random Choir: SEPHIROTH!!

Cloud: DON'T SNATCH THINGS!! (Attacks Sephiroth)

SW: Jesus. How many times have they tried to kill each other so far? No, I didn't mean for you to go count Yuffie. I got Kingdom Hearts II Final Mix from a website called play-asia. However, you do need to get a thing called Swap Magic to make it work on European and American playstations. Just type those two things into Google and read up about them.

Vexen: So… You really have ordered it?

SW: Yup! The order got sent out today! Although I have to wait for my birthday… (Sulks)

Lexaeus: Dear god.

Marluxia: Agreed.

Xigbar: Huh?

Larxene: She never had the patience to play through Kingdom Hearts Chain of Memories…

Marluxia: But if it's on playstation…

Zexion: We're doomed.

Demyx: HEY!! WE'VE HAD TO PUT UP WITH HER FOR MONTHS!!

SW: I HAVE A NAME!!

Axel: All righty, we've had to put up with bitch for months.

(Long silence)

Sora: Ouch.

SW: Riku?

Riku: Yes?

SW: You're in charge. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! (Attacks Axel)

Axel: OH MY GOD!! SOMEONE HELP ME!! (Long pause) FINE THEN YOU BASTARDS!! (Leaps out of a window)

SW: GAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!! (Follows him out of aforementioned window.)

Riku: Um. All questions for Axel are on hiatus. Who's good with computers?

Tron: Duh.

Riku: Oh, yeah, right. Could you hack into Sunflowers email?

Tron: Whatever.

Cid: I told you we should have let Tifa make that program when she was around 'That time of the month'.

Tifa: (Silently punches out Cid)

Riku: 'kay, these are from tootsiepopgurl:

**Yay!! I'm back!!  
Leon: -Huggles- I always knew you really didn't like her. I'm so much better than her anyway. I'm smart! Punches Rinoa in face And I'm not thick!  
Sora: Aww...Sora...I don't think your an idiot! You could be my little  
brother! ...If you wanted to that is.  
Sephiroth: Don't kill everyone...It would make me sad. You can kill Light  
Yagami after you have a very long talk with him about god complexes...cause...HE KILLED L! -Sobs-  
Marluxia: -sighs- You are very lucky Teru Mikami doesn't "delete" you. Could you steal his glasses for me??**

Au Revoir!! LUV YOU LEON!

Leon: (Hugs back)

Everyone: O.O

Leon: What?

Rinoa: (For some random reason, has returned) OW!! Are you sure you aren't Squall?

Leon: Of course I am!

Rinoa: Well, when you next see him, tell him this is from me! (Slaps Leon across the face) (Leaves)

Leon: Owwwwww… (Curls up in a fetal position)

Sora: Finally! Someone who doesn't think I'm dumb!

The Old One: IT'S THE INSANE LADY!!

Riku: Don't be rude to the reviewers.

Sora: YAY! I will be your younger brother!

Roxas: That just proves he's stupid!

Sora: I'M NOT STUPID!! I BROKE THE LAWS OF THERMODYNAMICS, SO THERE!! (Shows his device that breaks the laws of thermodynamics)

Vexen: Holy crap.

Sephiroth: I'LL DO WHATEVER I FEEL LIKE!! (Goes insane)

Random Choir: SEPHIROTH!!

Riku: Holy… Someone, do something, now.

Cloud: I got it. (Attacks Sephiroth)

Riku: That's not what I meant…

Sora: He's not paying attention to a word you say.

Riku: Dammit.

Marluxia: Hold on. (Vanishes)

Everyone: Huh?

Marluxia: (Returns, holding a pair of glasses) Got 'em.

Demyx: You idiot! Those belong to Sunflower's best friend!

Marluxia: Opps. (Portals out)

(Phone rings)

Roxas: (Answers the phone) Hello, this is the house of insanity.

Axel: (On the phone) OHMYGODHELPME!! (Hangs up)

Roxas: …The hell?

Sora: Who was it?

Roxas: Someone who just said something that sounded like (Makes high pitched squealing noise).

Demyx: Oh, right.

Marluxia: (Portals in) I got them! And I gave back the other ones.

Saïx: What happened?

Marluxia: She slapped me pretty hard.

Luxord: Ouch.

Leon: Love you too tootsiepopgurl!

Aerith: You've never even met her.

Leon: How do you know that?

Aerith: (Gulps)

SW: Back. (Drags an unconscious, blood covered Axel into the room)

Everyone: O.o o.O O.O

Roxas: What did you do to him?

SW: Something unholy.

Xaldin: We can see that. Where's the Glove of Doom?

SW: Someplace unholy.

Wakka: Now I am terrified.

SW: You better be boy. And… Why are Sephiroth and Cloud fighting to the death?… Again.

Riku: Long story. It involves cross-dressing.

SW: I didn't mean the whole story of Final Fantasy VII!

Riku: Oh, right.

SW: You guys make me sad. These are from me-and-my-alteregos:

**yay cookie! uhm my name is just 'kenosu' anyways here are my new questions  
Kairi: would you trade Sora for something?  
DIZ: -kicks him in da part-  
Axel: your hair burned me -tugs on hair- but not now  
Saïx: -pats head-  
Demyx: -gives truckloads of sweets- just wanna see what that will do  
Axel: -tugs harder-  
Sora: are gummi ship parts edible?  
Naminé: you know I heard that some perverts may look innocent  
Larxene: you remind me of heartless -tugs on bangs-  
SW: try something to make your living room larger cause i sense that more  
characters are coming  
well thats all. . .for now well see you later!**

SW: Woops.

Kairi: I would never trade Sora for anything! (Hugs Sora so hard he can no longer breathe) EVER EVER EVER EVER!!

Sora: K- Kai- Kairi!

Kairi: EVER EVER EVER!!

Roxas: Kairi, I don't think he can breathe.

Kairi: EVER EVER EVER!!

Roxas: That's the point.

SW: If you give me Sora, you can have some Marshmallows.

Kairi: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! (Lets go of Sora, grabs Marshmallows.)

Sora: Ow…

Axel: _Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww…_

Vexen: He's still alive?

Roxas: Are you okay Axel?

Axel: I can't feel my arm… I think that's a good thing, at this point.

DiZ: OOF!!

Everyone else: BWA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

DiZ: THE PAIN…!! _**THE PAIN**_…!!

Mickey: Gawrsh guys, maybe we should…

SW: Sssh! This is the good part!

DiZ: OH MY GOD!! WHY ME?! WHY THE HELL ME?!

Xigbar: Because everyone hates you.

Mulan: Who the hell is he?

SW: Doesn't matter, just laugh at him anyway.

Mulan: Okay.

Axel: Ow owowowowowowowowowowowow!! OW!! OWOWOWOWOW!! MY HAIR!!

Saïx: I will rip your limbs off.

Axel: What, my limbs?

Saïx: No, kenosu's limbs.

Axel: Ah.

SW: STOP THREATING MY REVIEWERS!!

Demyx: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! (Eats all the sweets in one go)

Axel: We're dead.

Demyx: **D**_** WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!**_ (Causes a massive wave in the airing cupboard)

Everyone else: Jesus.

(An hour later)

SW: We're back!

Axel: I think I'm dead.

Sora: Yet again.

Axel: Shut up. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!! WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP PULLING MY HAIR??

SW: It's just so… Pullable! (Pulls it)

Axel: OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!!

Sora: I don't think they are…

Roxas: I dare you to eat one!

Sora: You're on!

Naminé: What does that mean?

Xigbar: I think he called you a pervert.

Naminé: …

Kairi: Naminé?

Naminé: Kenosu is dead. (Leaves)

SW: May God have mercy on their soul.

Larxene: OW!! What is it with hair pulling?

Marluxia: It does kind of look like a heartless…

Larxene: Like you can talk, Flowa Powa!

Roxas: There's your nickname: Flowa Powa.

Flowa Powa: Grr…

Xaldin: He's fun to annoy.

SW: Make my living room larger…

Vexen: You've already mauled the laws of physics, you might as well put them out of their misery while you're here.

SW: Fair enough. (Makes living room larger, and totally kills everything you've learnt in science)

Roxas: Except Biology… Sora's face is blue.

Riku: I think he's choking on that Gummi Block you dared him to eat…

Roxas: Whoops.

Kairi: I'M GOING TO KILL YOU ROXAS!!

Shrek: Excuse me, but does anyone know where Artie is?

The Old One: …The hell?

Xigbar: Why is Shrek in your living room?

SW: Dunno… Does anyone know the Heimlich manoeuvre?

Demyx: You were in the Guides.

SW: Yeah, but when we did 'First Aid', we just wrapped ourselves up in bandages, and pretended we were mummys from the Tomb of Doom.

Axel: Is everyone you know insane?

SW: … Quite a few. Heimlich manoeuvre anyone?

Olette: Oh, me!

Hayner: Trust her.

Sora: (Choking)

Leon: Doesn't look like Gummi Ship blocks are edible.

Cid: I could have told you that you f(lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala) idiot!

Olette: (Successfully performs Heimlich manoeuvre)

(Gummi block flies through the air)

(Lands on Riku's head)

Riku: Ow. (Faints)

(Silence)

Donald: Nice one Sora!

Sora: It's not my fault!

Goofy: I LIKE TO SING AND DANCE AND WALK AND BREATHE!!

Everyone: O.o

Luxord: Those tranquilisers must be good stuff. What's in them?

SW: I don't know, Goofy ate the box.

Luxord: Stupid Dog… Thing. What species is he?

SW: Uh… I don't know. When I was little, I thought he was a horse.

Kairi: Now that's insane.

SW: I know. I was a strange child. But I digress.

Axel: HEY! I SAID THAT!!

SW: Yeah, I know, and I love that phrase.

The Old One: Because Axel said it, or just because you like it?

SW: …

Demyx: For once in her life, she has shut up!

SW: These questions are from Shiankumo Bani:

**Hehehehehehe...I'm such a jerk...MORE QUESTIONS FOR...  
Riku-Can I borrow your hair dye?  
And Sora-can I borrow your hair GEL?  
and Kairi-EW!...that was the question. Feel free to run around in insane  
confusion, thinking about what I mean. And in case you're wondering, I didn't mean that she's ugly. MUHAHAHAHAHA!  
and Tifa-Where did you learn to kick like that in KH2?! Did you learn  
from...gets knocked out before making another tales of symphonia reference  
Owwie… nevermind beats the crap out of some random bystander(a.k.a  
Sephiroth. HA I HAVE FOUND YOUR LIVING ROOM! I SHALL NOW BREAK SEPHY'S SWORD IN HALF AND EAT IT! WOOT!)**

Riku: (Still out cold)

Sora: As Riku's best friend, I am sure he would have said yes! Here! (Gives Shiamkumo Riku's hair dye) And… Okay, you can have a bit.

Kairi: Hmmm… (Thinks) (Thinks a bit more) (Thinks so hard her brain implodes)

Saïx: (Reading over my shoulder) _Im_plode?

SW: Explode is over-used. I use implode for originality.

Tifa: I can just kick butt because of natural talent. Observe. (Kicks Cloud's and Leon's butts into oblivion)

Leon: Ow.

Cloud: This is why you DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES piss Tifa off.

Tifa: That is true.

Cloud: Especially when it's that time of the month.

Tifa: WHAT!?

Cloud: I'm dead. (Promptly killed by Tifa)

Aerith: Okay, okay! Chill guys. (Cures Cloud)

Tifa: Hmph. Take his side. Just because you LOVE HIM!!

Aerith: WELL SO DO YOU!!

Larxene: There is only one way to settle this.

Tifa: Bitch fight?

Larxene: Hell yes!

Aerith: I'm in!

(Tifa and Aerith fight to the death)

Luxord: Who bet's Tifa wins?

Cloud: Actually, Aerith can kick butt with the best of them.

Luxord: Really?

Tifa: OOOOH!!

Aerith: HA!! TAKE THAT!!

Leon: Yeah. Why did you think I was so scared of her when the MCP was taking over the town?

Cloud: Now that was funny.

Leon: Shuddup Strife.

Sephiroth: OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!! THIS IS MORE PAINFUL THAN TRINITY LIMIT!!

Random Choir: SEPHIROTH!!

SW: Holy crap… She has found my living room… She's outside singing 'I broke Sephiroth's sword, da na na na na na!' Oh, wait, Jimmy the cat's just turned up, and he's… he's clawing her leg, and that has got to hurt.

Yuffie: THE CAT'S MAULING HER!!

SW: BAD JIMMY!! GET OFF MY REVIEWER NOW!! (Chucks Demyx at the cat)

Demyx: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!

DiZ: Now that was just plain stupid. (GLOVED!!)

SW: I prefer 'Blissfully stupid'. These are from SoraLover1994 (again):

**I forgot Diz!  
Diz: YOU SUCK!  
To Axel, can you just burn DiZ to a life in hell already? PLZ!**

DiZ: I. Do. Not. Suck.

Axel: BURN BASTARD BURN!!

Luxord: Axel swears a lot in this.

Axel: I was chased out of a second story window by a-

SW: Call me that again, you die. Slowly. Painfully. Got it memorised?

Axel: Got it memorised. But don't use ma catchphrase!

Roxas: Remind me why I hang out with you?

Sora: Because you are a douche-bag.

Roxas: (Pulls out key-blade)

Sora: (Also pulls out keyblade)

Sora and Roxas: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!! (Start fighting to the death. Or until one of them gets really badly hurt.)

SW: Anywoo, these are from PyroPuddle again! Hi!

**Hey, it's me again. I have more questions.  
To Sephiroth:  
1) Does your sword ever break? If so, how do you fix it?  
2) Get a haircut. Seriously.  
To Zexion:  
1) Why do you have a book as a weapon?  
2) Are you shorter than most organization members?  
To Demyx:  
1) I'm sorry for calling you weak. (gives cookie basket)  
2) Have you ever played Rock Band?**

Can I join the 'I Hate DiZ' club? I really do hate him.

Sephiroth: My sword has never been broken.

Cloud: Let me fix that for you! (Grabs hold of Masamune, and breaks it.)

Sephiroth: Grrr…

SW: I have blue-tac and sellotape, if that helps.

Sephiroth: …It doesn't. And I won't have a haircut.

Xaldin: (Grabs a pair of scissors)

Sephiroth: Wha? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

(Several hours, much blood and swearing later)

Sephiroth: (Now a skin-head) I hate you.

Cloud: (Laughing so hard he can no longer breathe)

Sephiroth: I'll get revenge when you're sleeping.

Aerith: CLOUD!!

Cloud: (Passed out from laughing so hard)

Tifa: How ironic would it be if he died from laughing?

Yuffie: Very.

Zexion: I am not sure if you are aware of this, but books are actually quite good weapons. Observe. (Bashes DiZ over the head with the Lexicon)

DiZ: Ow!

Zexion: I don't wish to discuss my height.

Marluxia: Who's shorter? Zexion or Roxas?

Larxene: Both are very short.

Goofy: DAMMNATION ON ALL OF YOU!!

Everyone: O.O O.o o.O WTF?

Demyx: Aww… I forgive you! (Hugs) And no, I have never played Rock Band, sadly.

Goofy: I USED TO BE A POSTER BOY!!

SW: Someone kill him, please!

Sora: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Donald: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!

Sora: (Glares)

SW: SEND IN QUESTIONS!!

Xigbar: She owns nothing.

The Old One: Wow.

SW: What?

The Old One: You never normally end the chapter without random people bursting through the walls.

SW: You're rig-

(Barney smashes through the wall)

The Old One: Dammit.

Barney: I LOVE YOU! YOU LOVE ME!

The Old One: IT'S PREACHING LOVE!!

Roxas: KILL IT! KILL IT!!

Demyx: OH! POPCORN!! (Starts eating popcorn as Linkin Park music plays in the background)

Xaldin: _**ATTTTTTTTTAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK!!**_


End file.
